“Direct mail is for the birds,” said Igor, owner of Moat Designs Ltd.
“What did you say?” asked the King.
“I meant to say that using direct mail as a source to generate leads that in turn lead to profitable assignments, is not really a good business investment.” “That’s what I thought you said.”
“I’m sorry, but I just spent a fortune on a mailing and the results were dreadful.”
“Perhaps it was how your mailing looked when they received it,” said Slide Rule, owner of Building Blocks Inc., the general contractor for the castle. “What would you know about that?” said Igor.
“Actually, I hate to admit it, but Slide has a good point,” replied the King.
Slide beamed in all his glory.
“It’s time for lunch, and I invite both of you to sit with me and we’ll discuss some important factors regarding direct mail marketing. It could very well make you rich beyond your wildest dreams.”
“You’re serious?” responded Slide.
“Yes, why do you ask?”
“I never thought of you as being an expert in anything,” answered Slide.
“Really!”
“Slide, if I were you I would rephrase that last statement. That’s one of those ‘off with your head’ kind of remarks that could get you in trouble with the King. Your Majesty, I barely know Slide, and I consider you an expert in all things.”
“Your Majesty, I in no way intended to slight you in any way. My very good and close friend Igor would attest to that.”
Igor took one step away from Slide.
“Both of you are acting like village idiots. Sit here with me at this new market square restaurant. Let us eat and talk.”
They all sat down and the King ordered for everyone, and watered-down wine was promptly served.
“So, let me make this very clear, direct mail marketing works. Even in the future when there are other alternatives for companies getting their message in front of prospects, such as social media and websites. Direct mail is a viable marketing tool.”
“But my mailing failed miserably,” said Igor.
“Let me see what it looks like.”
Igor pulled out of his bag several unopened mail pieces and handed them to the King and to Slide. The King examined them as their order of chips and dip arrived. “This is one of the most unimpressive pieces of mail I have ever seen. Why should I open this?”
“I couldn’t answer that,” said Slide. “I also got one in the mail and I never opened it either.”
“OK, first of all, there are several types of direct mail consisting of various kinds of offers. There is also a direct mail program referred to as a wave mailing that works rather well. A wave mailing is a series of direct mail pieces building up to an offer.”
Igor promptly waved his hand to everyone in the room. “Done!” he exclaims. “Hardly cost a thing.”
The King looked at Igor as Slide slowly inched his chair away from him.
Igor suddenly realized there must be another form of wave mailing and he immediately became quiet and attentive. “Sorry, your Majesty.”
The King continued, shaking his head at Igor. “No matter what kind of mailing that’s done, it must be an attractive piece in order for them to either open the envelope or to read the postcard. The message must pique their curiosity.”
“Are you saying this mailing is unattractive?” asked Igor.
“Your Honor, may I take the lead on this?” said Slide.
“Yes, by all means.”
“Igor, your mailing is U-G-G-L-L-L-Y!”
“Ugly. How can you say that?”
“He’s right,” said the King. “It’s one of the most unattractive envelopes I’ve ever seen. To make a point, you’re familiar with the Academy Awards, aren’t you?”
“Yes. Sure. Everyone is.”
“Well, the presenter always walks out carrying an envelope. One presenter at the awards, Tom Hanks, made the comment that the envelope was the most beautifully designed one he had ever seen, and it was a work of art. He was making a point that can be translated back to direct mail marketing. The mailing piece must be well designed in order for it to be opened, and the message must be clear and entertaining. In fact, the reader starts to gain interest in the product or service if the direct mail is solving a problem or satisfying a need. Most don’t do this. In fact, most direct mail pieces in envelopes never get opened. It’s why most direct mail campaigns fail.”
“I had no idea. I never thought of direct mail in those terms.”
“So, what’s your response?” “The envelope, please.”
With the exception of an occasional guest appearance by the author, any similarity to actual events or people living or dead is purely coincidental.
Ronald A. McKenzie is president of COMPASS Consultants Corp., a strategic planning and marketing company specializing in developing business growth. He is a published author and has made nationwide presentations on the subject of strategic planning and marketing. He resides in Las Vegas and can be reached at ramckenzie.compass@gmail. com and www.compassconsultantscorp.com.