This is an ongoing story of encounters between the King, everyone’s favorite owner; his architect, Slide Rule; and his contractor, Igor. Characters are inspired in part by Gary Larson’s Far Side.
“Marketing, marketing, marketing!” exclaimed Slide Rule of Building Blocks Inc., the Kings No. 1 architect.
“Same here,” commented Igor, of Moat Designs, the contractor for the castle.
“Well, that’s the first positive thing I have heard you two say,” said the King of the Castle. The three of them were enjoying a glass of wine down by the river. Both Slide and Igor looked at their King. They were really complaining about marketing.
All three sipped their wine in the afternoon sun, which was making them sleepy. Igor dozed off first, and then Slide Rule closed his eyes and nodded his head off holding his wine glass at a dangerous angle. The King, who had been pretending to be sleepy, opened his eyes and looked at his top construction advisors.
The King waved toward his Knights who rolled a 500-pound cannon over and placed it between the King’s two sleeping advisors. The cannon was pointed across the river, and when all was clear, the King gave the signal and the fuse was lit. Everyone ran for cover.
The cannon exploded with such a force the ground shook. As the smoked cleared they could see Slide and Igor clutched together trying to hide under the table absolutely terrified. All the Knights were laughing at them.
The King walks up. “So, do I have your attention now?”
“What did you say?” asked Igor.
“Do I have your attention now?” yelled the King.
“Yes, your Majesty. We must have dozed off.”
“The same here,” replied Igor, who was visibly shaken. “Are we at war?”
“No. I was just trying to make a point. It’s the middle of the afternoon, and you’re sleeping on the job.”
“We both apologize,” said Igor.
The King snapped his fingers. “Wine for all of us.” He then turned toward both of them. “Let’s see, you were making comments about marketing.”
Slide, quite shaken from the ordeal, sat down.
“Yes, it’s never ending. Always another campaign.”
The King brightened. “What you need is a campaign that can run for 12 to 18 months.”
“Is there such a thing?”
“Certainly. Consider the wine you’re drinking.”
Slide swirled the wine around in his glass, took a sip, swished it around in his mouth and spit it out as a fine expert would do. “It appears to be a good wine, fresh, full body.”
“It’s called Three Shilling Swill.”
“Really?” said Igor. “I’ve heard of it. In fact, people are coming from all over to give it a try. They usually buy several cases of the wine just for the novelty of it.”
Slide took a sip. “Actually, it’s good and it’s cheap. This should really get people interested because everyone is talking about it.”
The King laughed his merry robust laugh. “Yes, you’re right. In fact, Three Shilling Swill is going to be so popular that someday it’s going to be named Two Buck Chuck. It’s one of the greatest marketing campaigns ever.”
“So, what’s your point?”
The King got up and started to pace. “My Master Class is now in session. Here’s my point. You cannot predict what marketing tactic is going to attract what buyer, or interest what prospect. That’s why you should be using a matrix of marketing tactics, such as direct mail, white papers, social media, blogs, advertisement, principal speeches, lunches, sporting events and websites to name a few.”
“There’s no way we can afford to do all of that,” said Slide.
“Good, Slide. That’s my major point.”
Slide beams at the compliment.
“You can’t do all of them, but what you can do is go to your experienced business developer marketing expert and work out a matrix of possibilities based upon a budget.”
“My B.D. guy did that and we just pretty much ignored everything he said.”
“How’s business?” asked the King.
Igor shrugged his shoulders.
“That’s what I thought. Anyway, some of these campaigns can be short and targeted, while other ones, like Three Shilling Swill, can take place over a longer period of time because it’s clever and draws attention. It will get people talking about your company, and that’s what you want.”
“What’s the first step?” asked Slide.
“The first step is to sit down with your marketing and business development team and actually talk about business. In these hard economic times, they take it seriously. You should too.”
“Sounds good,” said Slide. “We’ll both give it a try.”
“Marketing is a blast,” said the King, who laughed merrily with his Knights of the Roundtable.
Note: The “$2-Buck-Chuck” marketing phenomena was marketed through Trader Joes and is considered one of the best marketing campaigns ever.
With the exception of an occasional guest appearance by the author, any similarity to actual events or people living or dead is purely coincidental.
Ronald A. McKenzie is president of COMPASS Consultants Corp., a strategic planning and marketing company specializing in developing business growth. He is a published author and has made nationwide presentations on the subject of strategic planning and marketing. He can be reached at (630) 740-4434 or ramckenzie.com pass@gmail.com.
